were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
