So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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