i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
