I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
