I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
