I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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