The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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