you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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