quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Two words: blizzard sex
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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