I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
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Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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