Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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