sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
