two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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