Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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