More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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