Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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