I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
