Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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