so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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