I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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