11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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