i love accidental penises.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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