batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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