Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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