i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You are the jesus of drinking
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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