whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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