he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Everclear isn't food dammit
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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