Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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