I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.