Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?