I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
