Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.