This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
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