My cat gives me a boner
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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