the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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