Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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