Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
