I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You dont lie about slip and slides
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize