I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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