Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
