I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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