No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize