Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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