i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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