well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
