Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
