I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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