the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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