so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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