i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Still dying that you shit outside
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize