I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
