She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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