Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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