I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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