Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize