Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
