Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
