I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
