and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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