There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
