I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
