I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
