he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
