Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
