I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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