Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
