She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize