dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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