so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude. I can hear the air.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
