when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
