im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
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I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
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I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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