Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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